My Guardian Angel(s)

so the night before my surgery i had the wonderful opportunity to see my crazy girls: kylee, kazhia, and nikki (who had a very awkward hug with me. lol.). not only were they sweet enough to bring me a cup of our ever so delicious Fresa, but kylee let me borrow her guardian angel trinket (which btw i will return and i havent' lost it!) that night i recieved a priesthood blessing from my daddy and grandpa and one of the things that was mentioned was that i wouldn't experience a ton of pain, which was one of my BIGGEST worries.

the day of my surgery i spent the car ride looking out the window and listening to Dashboard Confessional because Chris Carrabba's voice can always calm me down. not only were my earbuds glued to my head, but that guardian angel trinket was clenched in my sweaty hand (i've washed it since! so don't worry, ky!) anyway... i felt like even though it was some small piece of plastic in some way was the only thing that understood the kinds of emotions i was feeling that morning. i was terrified. but i didn't show it. i kept telling my parents i was fine.

but i wasn't.

there were so many tears built up inside of me and as the surgery got closer the hold i once had on those tears loosened and i began to lose it!! it wasn't until my anesthetiologist told me that he would treat me like he would his own daughter that i began to feel a whole lot better.

my only disappointment was that i didn't get to experience the whole "movie scene" kind of thing when they put you out. honestly, the last thing i remember was that he gave me the stuff through a needle and i started laughing AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHY!! lol. i just couldn't stop laughing. and that was the last i remembered. but apparently i was still awake when they wheeled me to the OR. and i guess i told my parents i loved them. but i don't remember it!! WEIRD!! then i remember waking up and everything was really blurry. i knew that my mom and dad were there and that a nurse was there and one of the first things i asked for was that dang guardian angel. i kept telling my mom that "it helps me" and she told me "tobie, you've got plenty of guardian angels watching over you." that's when i realized that although it was VERY helpful, i didn't need that piece of plastic to feel like i had a guardian angel because i'd had tons all along. MY FRIENDS, MY FAMILY, MY WARD, MY HEAVENLY FATHER, AND MY SAVIOR.

Everyone that had prayed and fasted for me were my guardian angels.